Rock and roll suicide

Well, played first gig last week I spent all day getting so nervous I wanted to be sick. It's supposed to be an enjoyable thing, performing, yet I got myself into a right state!

Come the night, hardly anyone turned up. Out of the three bands we had the greater audience, mainly as the other bands had more members and made up the audience when we were on.!

We did a soundcheck half an hour before hand, where I kept asking the sound man to turn up my monitor. Anyhow...we get on stage, the first song one which has everyone start at once. Nothing! All I can hear is the rest of the band, very loud, nothing from my own instrument...and so the night carried on like that.

I'm told we sounded very good, but it was like playing air guitar (on a banjo though!). I heard nothin of myself. It was a very frustrating experience. Richard, being ever the optimist (and also the drummer!) was very supportive, saying it was just unlucky and to not be too downbeat, which is very sensible advice to a sensitive artist like myself! Anyway, pictured are my mandolin and pedal board, plus my two babies, the banjo's- a John Alvey Turner and a Barnes and Mullins, collectively about 200 years old, about how I felt at the end of the night. That's showbiz!!!! ">Link